Understanding men’s sexual and emotional needs
Male masturbation frequencies vary significantly, indicating not only a range in responsiveness, but also the different conscious choices men make over how they...
Reproduction: the role of heterosexual intercourse
Despite the contrary research findings, society still promotes the idea that women orgasm from intercourse. Shere Hite’s research gave inconclusive results when she...
An evidence-based approach to researching sexuality
I am documenting my research approach, which is different to that taken by other researchers. I have not had a budget, colleagues or the...
Sex information must explain real women’s behaviours
The young tend to be the most sexually active. So mature couples with decades of experience often assume that young people know more about...
Female sexuality – a more realistic perspective
Slides summarising 'Women's Sexual Behaviours & Responses'. Humans have sex in order to reproduce, to enjoy sensual or erotic pleasure and to form the...
Sexologists need to challenge what they are told
On an on-going basis, I ask sexologists, medical professionals, sex workers, gay men, lesbians, heterosexuals and anyone else, who might be assumed to be...
Sexology should present research not popular beliefs
Why is sexual pleasure taboo? Probably because of the associated exploitation (of women by men) and deceit (perpetrated by women on men). Few...
Women deserve an unbiased account of their sexuality
We have appallingly bad sex information today because those who are reassured by mysticism far outnumber those swayed by any facts or logic. Surveys...
Women may use behaviours to provide turn-ons for a lover
My first boyfriend was more than 6 years older than me. I was a virgin and he had plenty of sexual experience from one-night...
Techniques for getting the most out of anal intercourse
Few homosexual men orgasm solely from penetration. The penis is always involved. The anus and the entrance (vestibule) to the vagina have some sensitivity....
The clitoris is stimulated up until climax but no longer
Men’s focus on the vagina is natural given their sex drive (to impregnate a female). To experience orgasm, a woman needs a lover...
Some men want a lover to provide a response to intercourse
The basic male sexual function is instinctive. It is satisfied relatively easily by intercourse. Kinsey concluded that the vast majority of men (including the...
Sexual pleasuring techniques a man may enjoy
A woman who lies fairly inert during sexual pleasuring, communicates a lack of cooperation and causes a man to feel sexually unappreciated. Both social...
Women mature sexually much later than men tend to
Women mature sexually much later than men do so a young woman is very unlikely to discover orgasm with a lover. Over time...
Women offer sex as an emotional bonding mechanism
A woman may believe that she has orgasms with her lover. But if she is unwilling to have the same experience with an attractive...
Sexual pleasuring techniques a woman may enjoy
There are no female equivalents to the turn-ons that motivate men sexually. Women often prefer intercourse in the dark and they do...
Women do not experience easy erotic arousal with a lover
Lesbians have the advantage (as women) of having a similar responsiveness as their lovers. Also being women, they are not so intent on...
For women, sexual attraction does not include erotic arousal
Women are attractive to men because their bodies cause intense male arousal. Women are attracted to other women because female bodies are more sensual...
Bringing variety of situation and technique to intercourse
Although intercourse provides little internal sensation, a woman feels some external pressure. When a man thrusts deeply the base of his penis may...
Women’s ability to engage in sex is not limited by orgasm
Female orgasm is not easy and to suggest otherwise trivialises the effort women’s partners make to arouse them. Women respond to please a lover....
Responsive women use surreal fantasy to generate arousal
Before I started my research, I hadn’t appreciated that my experience was so unusual. Reading Hite’s work in my early twenties, reassured me that...
Women’s need for affection drives regular relationship sex
While women often fail to appreciate the importance men place on eroticism, men seldom appreciate the importance women place on affection.
Sex is so much...
Women have sex for emotional (rather than erotic) reasons
Sexual phenomena, such as arousal and orgasm, rely on explicitly adult themes. Anyone, who assumes these phenomena only occur in a relationship with...
Male arousal is acute but female arousal is subconscious
When we look at how men orgasm, it is clear that a man must have an erection before he can attempt orgasm. Only when...
Some men expect women to make sex exciting for them
Films use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and the woman’s vocal...
Women have more reason to invest in a loving relationship
Young women cannot possibly imagine the challenge of a sexual relationship spanning decades. They experience sex through spontaneous and romantic interludes. Long-term relationships take...
The penis is an external organ but the clitoris is internal
The clitoris is the equivalent organ to the penis. They both develop from the genital tubercle in the foetus. The suggestion is that the...
Women’s talk of orgasm does not lead to more sex for men
Ironically (because only male responsiveness declines with age) women are often more sexually active when younger. Once a woman has children, she is much...
A woman may offer intercourse when she feels appreciated
Romance involves a man demonstrating his interest in a woman as a person. This personalised attention helps a woman interpret a man’s sex drive...
Women are sexually passive due to lack of erotic arousal
Sexual reproduction even in plants (pollination) involves pollen being transferred (by wind or bees, for example) from the male reproductive part (the anther, part...
Showing sexual initiative and providing erotic feedback
Doesn’t anyone else find it odd (and very convenient!) that modern advice on female orgasm just so happens to reflect almost exactly how women’s...
The female mind responds to many fewer erotic turn-ons
Male orgasm is most usually associated with erotic stimuli. Yet it is often suggested (erroneously) that women need emotional stimuli to achieve orgasm....
Only men are aroused in anticipation of sexual activity
Off the coast of France, at Cannes, there is an island where people are permitted to bathe nude. Nude bathing is popular in France,...
Married men have sex more often than single men do
Despite the complaints, research indicates that married men have more sex than single men do. Men may look for other pleasures when they...
Men enjoy penetration and thrusting more than orgasm
Everyone gets terribly emotional about insisting that women should orgasm with a lover and yet female orgasm serves no useful purpose at all. The...
Only men are aroused by observing a partner’s genitals
My partner likes to take photographs of my genitalia while we are having sex. Note that I have no similar desire to photograph his...
A woman may offer intercourse when she feels respected
After fifty years of marriage one woman told me she had never been interested in men. Men tend to seek women out. Women don’t...
Intercourse is a demonstration of male virility and potency
Although prostitutes the world over pleasure men sexually, none are called great lovers. Equally a man does not make love to a prostitute. Male...
Men obtain an optimal sexual release from penetrative sex
Sex drive has been defined in terms of the proactive role that men have in obtaining intercourse. Male sex drive is apparent from the...
Regularity of intercourse relies on male responsiveness
One would expect the regularity of intercourse to depend partly upon a woman’s motivation. But Kinsey found the rates of sexual outlet (made up...
Men want more sex than is required for reproduction
Most men are tempted by any sexual opportunity. A man’s sex drive determines intercourse frequencies so couples struggle when a man has a high...
Orgasm is a vital aspect of male reproductive function
When I had intercourse for the first time (as a virgin) I was shocked that I felt no internal physical sensation of any kind....
Proposing and planning sex sessions, providing sex talk
When a man has a new lover the novelty makes sex more exciting for a while but gradually he falls back to having intercourse...
Our biological motivation to engage in loving relationships
Research shows that, when they are alone or with another woman, women take longer to orgasm than men do. Women are only assumed to...
Differences between male and female responsiveness
The differences between male and female responsiveness include:
Orgasm is a vital aspect of male reproduction function;
Men obtain an optimal sexual release from...
Sexual techniques and exploring sex play with a lover
Men do not make ideal lovers of women. Not only do they orgasm easily but men rarely appreciate what drives women emotionally or how...
Emotional bonding: women are unresponsive by design
Kinsey’s work remains the most comprehensive data we have on sexuality. It represents a unique opportunity to study female sexuality at a time when...
Both sexes enjoy emotional rewards from sexual intimacy
Whenever a man and a woman share physical intimacy, the man’s arousal is very evident. A man’s erection gives visual evidence, not only that...
Women are aroused by fantasy, not real-world turn-ons
Men are aroused by thinking about sexual activity with someone they find attractive. Only two thirds (69%) of women ever have erotic fantasies. The...
Orgasm is not a vital aspect of women’s sexuality
All men (to varying degrees) are capable of orgasm because orgasm is the trigger for ejaculation of sperm into the vagina. Men do not...
Male and female sexuality both contribute to reproduction
When I started researching my sexuality, I knew how to masturbate to orgasm so I wanted to know how women achieved the orgasms with...
Women’s arousal depends on a more indirect mechanism
Men are turned on as a direct consequence of their drive to penetrate (a female) and thrust until ejaculation. A woman lacks this drive....
Some women masturbate without aiming for orgasm
It is difficult to establish the nature of female masturbation. Women do not always use fantasy as men do, which suggests they may...
Orgasm is not the goal of sexual activity with a lover
Orgasm has become a key word in talking about sex. Certainly, the most important aspect of women’s participation in sex is whether they have...
Female arousal is more deeply buried in the subconscious
Sexual phenomena (such as masturbation or gay sex) tend to be shocking and alien until we discover we enjoy them. Similarly once we experience...
The clitoris is the one and only female erectile sex organ
To state the obvious: men have no organ equivalent to the vagina. By considering how human sexual response must have evolved, we can...
Orgasm comes at the end of activity intended to achieve it
I used my own experience of sexual activity with a lover to draw conclusions about women’s use of behaviours in responding to sexual scenarios...
Understanding what works: erotic versus emotional stimuli
If men were attracted to responsive women, presumably they would hope for a woman who could orgasm within say 5 seconds of being stimulated....
The sexual anatomy involved in women achieving orgasm
Shere Hite’s sample, because she targeted female orgasm specifically, included even more women (82%) who masturbated (compared with Kinsey’s sample of women). Yet even...
Stimulation and a focus on eroticism continue until orgasm
Imagine you are a woman. Your partner asks you to masturbate him to orgasm. Each time you do this, you would notice that the...
Relatively few women ever use a vibrator to masturbate
Sex toys are a useful addition to a couple’s sex play: to take the pressure off a man having an erection and to provide...
Women’s erotic fantasies have a psychological context
Male fantasies are usually easily applied to real life. Men fantasise about activities they would like to do. Women do not have the same...
Stimulation that leads to orgasm is applied instinctively
We all assume we already know everything there is to know about sex and sexuality. Even though we have never had a sex education...
The G-spot explains the orgasms women think they have
Inexperienced women explore various parts of their body before discovering orgasm but most women (84%) masturbate by stimulating the clitoris. Yet some women today...
Arousal mechanisms are not unique to one lover
Mental turn-ons (both fantasies and fetishes) are abstract concepts and objects. They are not personalised or limited to one individual. So if a man...
Orgasm is achieved by massaging the corpora cavernosa
As part of my research, I came across references to the corpora cavernosa. These are cylindrical structures within the shaft of the penis that...
Only some women think they orgasm through intercourse
When we talk about consensual sex who exactly is consenting and what are they consenting to? Women may consent to intercourse but consent...
Orgasm depends on a positive response to eroticism
You cannot teach someone to orgasm. We discover orgasm because we have the capability. Responsiveness relies on a person’s ability to identify with erotic...
The same organ, the erectile phallus, is involved in orgasm
The erectile organs (penis and clitoris) develop from the same anatomy in the foetus called the genital tubercle. The penis and clitoris have crura...
Understanding what works: the clitoris versus the vagina
Regardless of gender, sexual activity that is aimed at achieving orgasm involves continuous rhythmic movements of the whole body focused primarily on the...
The quality aspects of orgasm rely on erotic turn-ons
Prostitutes, swingers and bluffers may talk nonchalantly about techniques for pleasuring a man. But they never refer to the erotic turn-ons they enjoy. ...
Orgasm involves identifying with the penetrating male
Some women suggest that female arousal depends on emotional stimuli. I do not think I ever accepted this idea. But it is difficult to...
Bisexuality indicates an ambivalence over a lover’s gender
Although men have varying levels of sex drive (which affect the frequency with which they want sex), once a man engages in specific genital...
Women’s sexual responses do not need to be sociable
Surveys are inherently flawed where there is a bias in the acceptability of the responses. Frankly it is amazing that any woman ever admits...
Orgasm is a one-off release followed by a recovery period
With all the completely insane and goofy explanations, I get from women on the internet, it is tempting to believe that, somewhere, there must...
Female sexuality involves attracting male sexual attention
Any discussion of female sexuality is usually aimed at providing turn-ons for men rather than being a realistic description of how women truly orgasm....
Responsive women use fantasy to achieve arousal alone
Sexual activity is typically described in terms of physical stimulation. The idea that the brain needs to have an empathic response to eroticism is...
The mind responds to erotic stimuli: concepts or objects
No boy reaches puberty and consciously decides to be aroused by girls. It just happens. If it doesn’t, he may have a very low...
Men’s sexual knowledge is acquired from pornography
Today we have no official account of human sexuality. So men’s sexual knowledge of how women enjoy sexual pleasure (how women are assumed to...
Women do not masturbate as a substitute for intercourse
Male responsiveness declines very gradually from adolescence onwards. Few men masturbate regularly by the age of 50. At any age most men only masturbate...
Mental arousal must always precede physical stimulation
The only reason women are assumed to orgasm without ever being mentally aroused is because most women are unaware of what is involved in...
Female sexuality is defined by men and their fantasies
Men’s acute arousal ensures that they approach sex with a clear agenda. Women are not aroused, which is why they talk about emotional sensations....
Our biological motivation to enjoy arousal and orgasm
There is a precedent for female masturbation in the animal world. Some female mammals do masturbate but since they do not ejaculate it is...
Similarities between male and female responsiveness
The similarities between male and female responsiveness include:
Mental arousal must always precede physical stimulation;
The mind responds to erotic stimuli: concepts or objects;
...
Understanding women’s sexual and emotional needs
Sadly, researchers are often just as impressed with far-fetched accounts of female orgasm as the general public. Academics debate pure conjecture such as female...
Sexual pleasure: how responsive women reach orgasm
It is often assumed that every woman masturbates just as every man (96%) does. Yet there are no research findings to support this view....
Women depend on a lover to stimulate them to orgasm
Everyone applauds the idea that a man should care about his partner’s orgasm. But orgasm is an instinctive response to eroticism that occurs...
Men may get more sex if they are willing to be realistic
Only some men like to offer their partners any form of foreplay. Other men (probably the majority) prefer to head straight for the joys...
Women substitute sexual behaviours for responsiveness
Many people are outraged by the suggestion that anyone might misrepresent women's sexuality or exaggerate female responsiveness. Yet in other areas of the human...
The function of foreplay is to assist with female arousal
Men are proactive lovers because of their arousal. Men enjoy exploring women’s bodies because it is arousing for them. Foreplay existed well before any...
Many men prefer intercourse and never offer any foreplay
The men with the highest overall orgasm frequencies throughout their lives are the less educated (those who are not educated beyond high school).
Some men...
Intercourse stimulates only the penetrator’s sex organ
Men, both gay and straight, can enjoy the intensely pleasurable sensations of anal penetration, when combined with appropriate lubrication and a sensitive lover. But...
Women are proactive lovers due to their own arousal
We often hear sex educators blaming men for ignoring women’s presumed sexual needs. But why are women so incapable of obtaining their own sexual...
Some men hope that sexual pleasuring can be mutual
Society often implies that sex (like smoking and drinking) is a sign of maturity and worldliness. Films portray prostitutes as beautiful and classy young...
Confusion over anatomy only arises with a male lover
Men’s orgasm techniques are consistent regardless of sexual orientation. Once his mind is triggered by a turn-on, a man stimulates his penis whether he...
Women are constantly aroused and orgasmic with a lover
People are amazed when I question the orgasms actresses are portrayed as having in pornography. They cannot believe that anyone would doubt the fiction....
The conscious and subconscious components of sexuality
Human sexuality has biological, emotional and intellectual components.
The biological aspects are innate (we are born that way) and beyond our conscious control. Males of...
The sexual anatomy involved in heterosexual intercourse
Men always approach sexual activity and orgasm with a focus on the penis: whether through intercourse, fellatio or masturbation. There is no debate over...
Women orgasm from clitoral stimulation (cunnilingus)
Sexologists assume (as we all do) that women should orgasm in all the same scenarios that men do. These are (1) masturbation alone (the...
Heterosexual relationships involve mismatched sex drives
Men are naturally responsive. So no man should feel inadequate about ejaculating quickly. Men accept the misconception that women might be able to...
Most women prefer implicit explanations for their orgasms
A few women claim fantastic orgasmic feats, such as multiple orgasms. But orgasm ends sexual activity so these are, at best, just peaks of...
Women orgasm from vaginal stimulation (intercourse)
Kinsey explained that the vagina evolved from primitive egg ducts, which lack any sensitivity (in common with other internal organs of the body). The...
Masturbation and fantasy require a creative imagination
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and who are college educated (96%) are...
Women’s sexuality includes providing male erotic turn-ons
The intense focus on women’s bodies means that girls as young as five aspire to the sexual attributes and wardrobe of a Barbie doll....
Women can masturbate themselves to orgasm with a lover
Pornography shows women masturbating (or being masturbated by a lover). This self-stimulation by fingering around their glans never ends in orgasm. Women are shown...
Boys who are adolescent first have the highest sex drive
For practical purposes male adolescence is assumed to coincide with a boy’s first ejaculation. Boys who become adolescent first (before 12 years of age)...
Men pressure women to provide a response to intercourse
Only women are ever described as frigid (meaning cold or unloving). An unenthusiastic lover is a turn-off and causes a man to feel unappreciated....
Women masturbate as commonly and as frequently as men
Most men masturbate at least when they are adolescent so they assume that women must have a similar experience. Men never seem to notice...
Age is the foremost factor affecting male responsiveness
Factors that affect men’s orgasm frequencies include their age, the age at which they reached adolescence as well as their level of education.
Age is...
Women are not spontaneously aroused as men tend to be
Men are easily aroused because their minds frequently focus on sexual opportunities. Nudity (especially a genital display) triggers the male brain to anticipate a...
Women are driven to engage in intercourse just as men are
Men have a drive to obtain intercourse that we see throughout Nature. We observe the male of the species being motivated to mate with...
We all carry the potential to be homosexual in our genes
Women typically get on well with homosexual men. Gay men often have the social skills that women appreciate but straight men tend to lack....
Women assume that they should orgasm with a lover
Prostitutes are more sexually experienced than most women. Yet even they admit that they do not orgasm with clients. A woman who claims to...
Women experience arousal and orgasm as easily as men do
Kinsey noted that women who could masturbate to orgasm said they also had orgasms with a lover. This is contrary to my experience. I...
The symbiotic relationship between men and women
When living in an environment devoid of sexual stimuli (such as one without women) most men cease all forms of sexual activity. For example,...
Women only need to be amenable to offering intercourse
Samples based on volunteers will always attract people whose sexual (or political) motivation is well above the average for the general population. Women, who...
Women respond to real-world erotic triggers as men do
Men are aroused by nudity and sexual opportunities, so it is assumed that women are too. The fact that pornography is censored in every...
The male arousal cycle from erection to ejaculation
Sensations of fear, apprehension, shock or surprise all give rise to nervous system responses that have characteristics in common with arousal. Some young boys...
Women take on all the key disadvantages of intercourse
Research indicates that men are sexually active throughout their lives regardless of whether they are in a relationship. Women in relationships, in addition to...
Women have the exact same sexual needs that men have
Sex research appears to indicate that many women orgasm both alone and with a lover. But all of this research is flawed because there...
Male adolescence: differentiating orgasm from ejaculation
For sexually precocious boys, half have an orgasm by the age of 7 and two-thirds by the age of 12. But until they start...
Our biological motivation to engage in vaginal intercourse
In the animal world (especially mammals) the male initiates mating. The male drive is evidenced by the behaviour of fighting over mating rights. There...
Identifying the erroneous assumptions about sexuality
We tend to assume (on the basis of erotic fiction) that women in real life:
Have the exact same sexual needs that men have;
...
Masturbation and fantasy require a creative imagination
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and who are college educated (96%) are...