Samples based on volunteers will always attract people whose sexual (or political) motivation is well above the average for the general population. Women, who divulge their sexual histories, are either confident that orgasm is not possible with a lover or they are pleased to display their sexual prowess by claiming experiences that are considered normal in our society.
Even so women are much less confident of orgasm with a lover. They say that orgasm is possible sometimes [i] (75% of the time). Their accounts are vague. Not only do they disagree on the anatomy involved but they cannot explain the erotic turn-ons that arouse them mentally. They do not talk about orgasm as a phenomenon they control with their own mind and body. Women clearly do not understand the instinctive nature of sexual response.
Despite this confusion and the absence of any biological justification for female orgasm (by any means) this so-called evidence is used to define the normal experience for the whole female population. Yet no one can explain why a woman has an orgasm at best regularly, never always as men do. Nor can they explain why female orgasm is so elusive. It is implied that different women (or the same woman at different times) orgasm by stimulating different anatomy (as if women have more than one sex organ).
No one owns up to socially unacceptable experiences in public. So unsurprisingly women’s perceived sexuality (the experiences they will admit to) aligns increasingly with male expectations over time. Kinsey found two in five women orgasm with a lover sometimes. Hite found half orgasm regularly during sex. Today no woman ever admits to a lack of orgasm. The progression is clear but heterosexual lovemaking has not changed at all.
Men have better survival odds even before women are handicapped by their child-bearing role. Why else (if he had no sexual reward) would a man volunteer to protect and support a woman? Nature intends it to be this way. Sex is political because of the advantage it gives women. So women imply that they benefit from sexual activity as men do. A woman cannot use a man’s body for orgasm but she can play on his insecurities as a lover.
Women’s sexual responsiveness is always much lower than men’s but it does not change significantly as a woman ages. Heterosexuals have sex more frequently when younger because men initiate intercourse. Equally once a man cannot achieve an erection, many couples no longer have sex. Male sex drive is the clear motivator for heterosexual couples’ sex lives.
[i] The average (median) female in the sample had reached orgasm in something between 70 and 77 per cent of her marital coitus. … This means between 36 and 44 per cent of the females in the sample had responded to orgasm in a part but not in all of their coitus in marriage. About one-third of those females had responded only a small part of the time, another third had responded more of less half of the time, and the other third had responded a major portion of the time, even though it was not a hundred per cent of the time. (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (ISBN 978-0956-894717)