All men (to varying degrees) are capable of orgasm because orgasm is the trigger for ejaculation of sperm into the vagina. Men do not have organs equivalent to the uterus and the mammary glands. So men cannot perform women’s reproductive role of childbearing. But women are potentially capable of orgasm (not ejaculation). The reason is that the genital tubercle that becomes the penis for a man, develops into the clitoris for a woman.
The penis fulfils the functions of urination and reproduction (ejaculation) as well as that of a sex organ capable of producing an orgasm. A man stimulates his sex organ while responding to his reproductive drive. But women have not evolved the anatomy to make orgasm a priority. A woman has separate anatomy for urination (the urethra), reproduction (the vagina) and orgasm (the clitoris). The majority of the clitoral organ is internal and it is never rigid like the penis. A woman does not have the male experience, of holding her sex organ, when urinating. The clitoris is not stimulated when a woman cooperates with a man’s desire for intercourse. A woman has to use a mirror to see her clitoral glans. But few women ever want to.
How do we define sexual activity? For sure, any behaviour that is directed towards achieving reproduction or orgasm is deemed sexual. But what about oral sex and intercourse? The person giving oral sex and the person receiving intercourse are not necessarily intended to orgasm directly from the activity but nevertheless their behaviour is considered sexual. This issue is vital in appreciating the confusion over when female orgasm occurs.
By ignoring the research finding (that female orgasm is rare) women are encouraged to describe sex as orgasmic even though they may not have a responsiveness that makes orgasm possible. You could ask a million women about orgasm and you would get a million different answers. Women aren’t even as informed about sexual matters as men tend to be. There is so much political support for women who describe sex as orgasmic that they are advised to count even the slightest twinge as an orgasm.
Men approach sexual activity (alone or with a lover) already aroused and so they are easily stimulated to orgasm. Women are not spontaneously aroused and so stimulation is ineffective. Consequently, women get used to engaging in sexual activity with a lover without ever having an orgasm. [i] Sexual activity (alone or with a partner) can include psychological (emotional and erotic) and physical (sensual and genital) stimuli that may be delightful but that do not necessarily result in an orgasmic response.
[i] It cannot be emphasized too often that orgasm cannot be taken as the sole criterion for determining the degree of satisfaction which a female may derive from sexual activity. (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from Women’s Sexual Behaviours & Responses (ISBN 978-0956-894717)